JOKE of the DAY

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Dennisthe Menace
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Fri Mar 13, 2009 9:50 pm

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourt h move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Now keep that smile on your face and pass it on to someone else!!
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Dennisthe Menace
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Joke of the Day

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:32 pm

make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Dennisthe Menace
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JOKE of the DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:39 pm

Dennisthe Menace Post subject: Re: JOKE of the DAYPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:12 am

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH
>A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in
> >an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores
> >them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one
> >of them say the following:
> >
> >"Emma come first.
> > Den I come.
> >Den two asses come together.
> >I come once-a-more.
> >Two asses, they come together again.
> >I come again and pee twice.
> >Then I come one lasta time."
> >
> >"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady
> >indignantly. "In this
> >country. . we don't speak aloud in public
> >places about our sex lives"
> >
> >u I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'."
> >
> >
> >
> >I BET YOU'RE GONNA READ THIS AGAIN!

_________________

Mosrite Photo Gallery (Click on the Doubleneck).
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.vintagerock4.com
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Dennisthe Menace
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JOKE of the DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:43 pm

OK, Well, it was gonna happen sooner or later :roll: .....
Just KEEP IT CLEAN.....well, kind a sorta :mrgreen: ...........
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Dennisthe Menace
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:47 am

In Memorandum;

"The Music World Loses Another"

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote the novelty dance song "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started! :mrgreen:
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby 64sunburst » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:38 pm

drum roll and cymbal crash pleeze! :lol:


Byron

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Dennisthe Menace
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OMG! The US NAVY Releases a Senior AL QAEDA TERRORIST!!!

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:40 pm

Navy releases prisoner-

U.S.Navy releases Al Qaeda Terrorist - I can't believe it!!!!!
The US Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Qaeda terrorist after questioning him
extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a US aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea .
In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 US and a white 4 door Sedan automobile
upon being released from custody.

The attached photo shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy.....

http://by101w.bay101.mail.live.com/mail ... 6dc1babeab
GO NAVY!! :mrgreen:
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Dennisthe Menace
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:28 pm

A Gynecologist Becomes a Mechanic :shock:

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned
all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for
weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised
to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't
want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the
total mark.""You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler,
which I have never seen done before in my entire career. :mrgreen:
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Dennisthe Menace
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:58 pm

STUNNING SENIOR MOMENT.....

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a
senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many
of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew
up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon and the internet. We have cell phones,
nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, automated manufacturing, amazing technologies and"....
....and while pausing to take another drink of beer, the senior took advantage of the break in the student's
litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young, so we invented them.
Now, you arrogant little sh*t, just what the heck are YOU doing for the next generation?"

The applause was resounding....... :mrgreen:
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

mosman
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby mosman » Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:32 am

That's tellin' them young whipper-snappers by crikey!


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