JOKE of the DAY

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Mr Pink
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Mr Pink » Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:59 am

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Two; one to run around screaming, "What do I do?", and the other to shag the electrician.
I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself.

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wombat
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby wombat » Tue Aug 03, 2010 5:01 pm

Mr Pink wrote:How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Two; one to run around screaming, "What do I do?", and the other to shag the electrician.


I get it!

That is hilarious!!!!

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Dennisthe Menace
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Fri Sep 24, 2010 9:53 am

I saw this great bumper sticker today...

'If you want to talk to Jesus while driving, pray to him.
But if you want to meet Jesus while driving, text him.' :mrgreen:
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Sarah93003
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Sarah93003 » Fri Sep 24, 2010 12:20 pm

oh, ain't that the truth!
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Olav
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Olav » Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:30 am

Mr Pink wrote:How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Two; one to run around screaming, "What do I do?", and the other to shag the electrician.



How many forummembers does it take to change a lightbulb? (thanks Jumboshrimp @ AGF)

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

3 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

20 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

5 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

3 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again
va' sa' du? va' hete' du?
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Veenture
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Veenture » Tue Oct 12, 2010 12:05 pm

Olav wrote:
Mr Pink wrote:How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Two; one to run around screaming, "What do I do?", and the other to shag the electrician.



How many forummembers does it take to change a lightbulb? (thanks Jumboshrimp @ AGF)

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electrical section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

3 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

20 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

5 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

3 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again


............................ :idea: ............................ :roll:....................... :mrgreen:

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Sarah93003
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Sarah93003 » Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:54 pm

That was spot on! There are a couple missing however.

1 will point out the benefits of candles

and

several will say "+1" to that!
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1965 Mosrite Celebrity Prototype with Vibramute
1972 Mosrite Celebrity-III
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1994 Gretsch Streamliner G3155 Custom
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2006 Jude Les Paul 12 String

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Dennisthe Menace
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Tue Oct 12, 2010 7:07 pm

Sarah93003 wrote:That was spot on! There are a couple missing however.
1 will point out the benefits of candles and several will say "+1" to that!

Candle Power???? :shock:
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/

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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby stl80 » Wed Oct 13, 2010 8:21 am

One to say, "Didn't the Ventures have a light bulb?".
Jim

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Dennisthe Menace
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Re: JOKE of the DAY

Postby Dennisthe Menace » Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:06 pm

Subject: John and his Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change
the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think
of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the
parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in
the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out
onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm
sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my
rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very
softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!
make the Mos' of it, choose the 'rite stuff.
.........Owner of 9 Mosrites...
.....proud owner and documented:
1963 "the Ventures" Model s/n #0038
http://www.thevintagerockproject.com/


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