JOKE of the DAY

[oipunkguy]

Here's one for you:

8.5 "Hey! Where's that @#$%ing goofball with the goatee?"
--Crazy Horse to Sitting Bull, 1877



"They said off with who's @#$%ing head?!?!?!?!"
Louis XVI of France, 1793

[Dennisthe Menace]

How Dinosaurs Became Extinct
...............or..............
"The Very First Senior Moment"

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=htt ... s%3Disch:1

[oipunkguy]

awww the image didnt come up dennis

[Dennisthe Menace]

the BACON TREE

Two Illegal Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly
a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it?"
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees. . .
Ees. . .
Ees. . .
Ees. . .



Ees a ham bush...."

SO SORRY, I know there is something wrong with me for sending this. I just could not help it!
The voices made me do it !!! And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you - I know you did!

[Sarah93003]

yo mama brought up wrong, dats what it iz! (my best Arkansas accent. I am totally bi-lingual. I speak English and Suthin')

[Dennisthe Menace]

yo mama brought up wrong, dats what it iz! (my best Arkansas accent. I am totally bi-lingual. I speak English and Suthin')

(LOL!) She brought me up 'rite, because I play both kinds of music!!....Rock.....and Roll!!!

[oipunkguy]

are you sure your not from Arizona Dennis?

still, it was a funny story

[oipunkguy]

"Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?" -George Carlin

[Dennisthe Menace]

A 'FLORIDA' BLESSING

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep A/C working, in mid-July.
Bless the walls, where termites dine,
while ants and roaches, march in time.
Bless our yard, where spiders pass,
and fire ant castles, in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please,
carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes, that feed on you.
Millions of creatures, that fly or crawl,
in Florida , Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we must stay,
So thank you Dear Lord, for insect spray.

[Dennisthe Menace]